“Good People don’t Deserve Bad Things”
A micro memoir by Anonymous (9).
Hiding behind the door in my summer home, I heard the word “cancer” appear in their conversation and immediately thought about the worst case scenario. All I could do in this moment was ponder on how much longer I had with her? Would this time be whole? Would I have to see her struggle? All these questions left me in extreme distress.
One summer evening, when I was about 10 years old, my mom called my sister and I into the room, and had us sit down on that old green couch next to our grandma. I never thought that I would have to prepare for a conversation like this. She started out by saying some comforting words like, “It will be the same as it was before” or “I will be fine” but no matter how many layers of sympathy she spoke, it wouldn’t change the truth. “I have stage four cancer in my lung, liver and brain,” my grandma said. She said some other facts, but it all went quiet after she first spoke. I felt confused at this moment, because it didn’t make sense to me. How could someone this special and dear to everyone, get a deadly disease?
I never really thought about my grandma’s health, because I thought she was fine. She would always cheer me on at my sports games, take me to old movies, invite me over for dinner and a sleepover, or be ready for the next card game we would play.
With a worried face, my grandma asked, “Do you girls have any questions?” I must have had about a million questions, but I shook my head no. I didn’t want to make my grandma even more worried, because telling two of your grandchildren you have metastasizing cancer is a big load. After this I just sat next to her, holding her hand as tight as I could, to let her know I would always be here for her.
Looking back at this situation now, I realize I took my grandma’s being for granted before I found out that she had cancer. My great-grandmother lived till one-hundred and two and as a child, I plainly expected that future for my grandma as well. We would always say our good night and I love you like nothing, but this time, I always made sure that I meant those simple phrases. With the two years I had with her after I found out, I made it my one and only destiny to spend every moment I had with her, and truly cherish the precious time and memories.