METANOIA

By Genesis Cruz Ventura (grade 12)

I am losing what never belonged to me.

Even though I only meant to observe it

I let myself grow attached and —

A childhood wish was set free.

Off it went and experienced a life,

One it never lived for the poorer half of seventeen years,

“All at once and much, much too completely,”

It let itself be comforted by camaraderie divine.

And though it never got to go trick-or-treating,

Sleepovers and camping trips alike were missed,

Those memories I set out to make are mine forevermore.

And to those memories which I tuck soundly away,

I put to rest with a goodnight’s kiss.

Now they are growing up and I only seem to grow inwards.

The farther they travel and the riskier experiments they take,

The more I retreat, seeking refuge in the simpler past.

Always hesitant to move forward, afraid of making a mistake.

In their former faces and through their matured eyes,

They recognize me no more than I do them.

For I dare not cross over into their complex world,

I like to believe I am safer where I stand.

I have lost what never belonged to me.

Though the more I learn, the more the truth elucidates.

To think that my childish hopes and I could elude the cycle,

Eluting innocence from the past, ignoring present and untimely fate.

We are growing up and apart, together and downwards.

Forgive me for judging you with parent’s eyes.

For in this limbo of fleeting youth and impending responsibility,

You and I will brave the path of fools and emerge all the more wise.